CHRISTIAN CONVERSATION

CHRISTIAN CONVERSATION

Virgil Warren, PhD

INTRODUCTION

            A.  We communicate three main ways: touch

                                                                            movement (kinesics)

                                                                                  facial expressions

                                                                                  gestures

                                                                            talking (words and how you say them)

                           B.  The capacity for speech marks us as human beings

                                         1.   vs. animals, which cannot very well pass on to other generations what they

                                               have learned

            RESPONSIBILITY             Thomas Mann: “Speech is civilization.”

                  2.   Speech enables word-revelation from God to profit us.

            PRIVILEGE

            C.  Consider how many (virtues and) vices are connected with speaking.

                  lying                  blasphemy            taking the Lord’s name in vain

                  boasting            swearing               insulting

                  gossiping                                        filthy talking

            D.  James 3:2b-12

                              “We are known by the company we keep.”

                              “We are what we read.”

                              “We are what we do.”

                              “We are what we say and we say what we are.”

OUR CONVERSATION .  .  .

I. REVEALS WHAT WE ARE.

                  Conversation is the way we let other people see down inside us: “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34).

            A.  Fear

                  insecurity                                                           emotional overlay

                  weakness                                               aggressive/hostile talk/vulgarism

                  feeling out of self-control                                   competitive talk

                  1.   Four subjects            2.      Effects                         3.     Situation

                        sex                                     shock value                          frustration

                        excrement                         unconventionalness             low self-image

                                                                  impropriety

                        race                                   dehumanizes/depersonalizes/assaults

                        deity                                  depersonalizes

                        As a person strengthens and ages, these verbal behaviors tend to disappear.

            B.  Inner conflict

                  Christians often do not talk appropriately while at home or at work.

            C.  Note the value of counseling

                  Communication gives release; it “gets it off our chest.”

                                         We conquer our fears by capturing them with words. This is the same thing

turned for good that goes into vulgarism when it is turned rotten.

   II. CONNECTS US WITH OTHER PERSONS.

            Communication is a way of transferring ourselves to another person.

                  The importance of communication in healing                                        family

                                                                                maintaining   relationships in   marriage

                                                                                improving                                 church

                                                                                                                                   business

            A.  Reveals ourselves

            B.  Builds up the other person

                  1.   Edification/teaching/prophesying

                  2.   Encouragement

                  3.   Affirmation: Praising other people establishes bonds.

                  4.   Compliment (blessing)

            C.  Elicits the other’s self

                  Thanksgiving is gratitude expressed.

                    We get into the habit of not talking so that other people do not know what is on our

                    minds.

                                                               RESULTING GUIDELINE: DETERMINE WHAT WE SAY BY WHETHER IT    

                                                                                                              BUILDS RELATIONSHIPS

  III. SETS THE DIRECTION FOR OUR FUTURE.

            A.  With other people and with what we can and will do together

                  honesty/lying example

            B.  Ultimate destiny

                                                            Matthew 12:37: “You will be justified by your words, and you will be

                                                                                       condemned by them.”

 IV. OUR CONVERSATION CAN BE CHANGED.

      Conversation patterns are kinds of habits. Habits can be changed by substituting some acceptable behavior. Instead of trying to stop certain conversation patterns, replace them with something else.

                           A.  Start doing things for people that will change our attitudes toward them.

                  Make a deliberate effort to encourage and compliment.

            B.  Start doing things that will raise our level of God-consciousness.

                                 It will direct us away from habitually swearing and using the Lord’s name in

                                 vain.

                  God is the silent listener to every conversation.

            C.  Spiritual exercises will strengthen the inner self.

                  Remove the unnamed fears         that erupt in unacceptable talk.

                                                      anxieties

                                                      distrust

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